Do You Want an Answer or a Different Answer? 🤨

 Let’s talk about questions. Specifically, the same question. Over and over. And over. And over. How many times can someone ask you the exact same question before you start getting irritated? I’m genuinely curious because apparently there is a number. I just haven’t figured out what it is yet.

The first time someone asks me something, I’m happy to answer. No problem. Ask away. I am a wealth of useless information and reasonably useful information, depending on the subject.

The second time? Still fine. Maybe they forgot. Maybe they weren't listening the first time. Maybe their brain was busy thinking about something else. It happens.

The third time, I might start wondering if we are having a communication issue. By the fourth time, I’m thinking, “We have discussed this.” By the fifth time, my answer may become slightly more concise.

By the sixth time?

Well…

How attached are you to getting an answer that doesn't involve me screaming? 

There is something about being asked the same question repeatedly that makes a person’s patience disappear faster than snacks at a family gathering. And it isn't even necessarily the question itself that makes me irritated. It's the repetition.

Because now I'm wondering: Did you hear me the first time? Did you understand me? Did you forget? Were you listening while simultaneously thinking about something completely unrelated? Or are we just going to keep circling this particular question until one of us dies?

And let's be honest, sometimes the answer doesn't even change! If I said, “No, I don't want to go,” five minutes ago, the answer has not magically transformed into “Absolutely! Where are we going?” Although I suppose I could appreciate the optimism.

There are also those people who ask the same question in slightly different ways, apparently hoping that eventually you will provide the answer they wanted.

“Are you going?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“But you could go, right?”

“I could. I could also choose not to.”

“So you're not going?”

“Correct.”

“What if you went later?”

At this point, I'm no longer participating in a conversation. I'm being interrogated. 

And then there are the questions where you've already explained the entire situation, only to have someone ask you something that you literally just answered.

“I’m leaving at 2 because I have an appointment at 3.”

“Oh, what time are you leaving?”

…

I’m sorry. Did the words I just spoke leave the building before they reached you?

Of course, there are times when repetition is completely understandable. People forget things. People get distracted. Sometimes we genuinely don't hear what someone said. And sometimes circumstances are complicated enough that we need to ask again just to make sure we understood.

But there comes a point where my inner customer-service representative clocks out.

She has done her best. She has answered politely. She has explained the situation. She has repeated herself.

And now she is putting on her coat and leaving the building. 

So I'm curious about you. How many times can someone ask you the same question before you start getting irritated?

Are you incredibly patient and happy to repeat yourself twelve times? Do you politely answer again every single time? Or do you reach a point where your face starts saying everything your mouth is too polite to say?

And perhaps the most important question of all: How many times have YOU asked the same question without realizing you already asked it?

Because, unfortunately, I suspect we may all have been the annoying person at least once.

Go ahead. You can admit it.

I won't tell anybody.

Probably.