My Nose is Haunted: A Mystery I Didn't Sign Up For 💨

Excuse Me, Who Ordered the Ghost Perfume?

Because I didn’t — and yet here we are.

So, apparently, my nose has been freelancing.
I’ll be sitting at my desk, minding my business, and BAM — it hits me: vanilla cupcakes.

Do I have cupcakes?
No.
Do I even like vanilla like that?
Not really.

So unless the universe is trying to flirt with me via pastry scent, we’ve got a phantom smell situation.

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My Nose, a Short Story in Confusion:

• Morning: “Is that… pool chlorine?”

• Midday: “Omg, who’s making bacon?”

• Evening: “Great. Now everything smells like burnt hair and regret.”

And the kicker? No one else smells it.
Which means either:
A) I’m gifted.
B) My sinuses are hosting a séance.
C) Trauma said, “You didn’t ask for this, but I deliver in ALL senses.”

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Why Does This Happen?

Science says this could be phantosmia — aka smelling things that aren’t there.
I say it’s trauma’s last laugh, like:

“You’ve healed emotionally? Cute. Here, sniff this imaginary spaghetti.”

Because let’s be real: when you’ve had a life full of surprises, your nervous system likes to keep the party going. Uninvited.

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Possible Triggers I’ve Invented:

• Too much thinking

• Not enough snacks

• Unresolved childhood issues

• Strong perfume memories from 1997

• Or the ghost of Bath & Body Works past

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In Conclusion, Your Honor:

I’m fine.
I’m just out here, sniffing the air like a raccoon who swears there’s pizza nearby.

If you ever see me suddenly look around like I’m being stalked by invisible waffles…
Just know: it’s probably not real.
But also, don’t trust it.